You heard it here

When we call someone a ‘good listener’, it sometimes suggests a person who is meek and who hasn’t got much to say. Sincere listening is often neglected in the face of information and noise. Listening often seems to be poorly valued by many people. But poor listening – which often translates as I’m really eager to have my say  - can cost you.

We love it when people focus on our words but listening is difficult. We listen much more efficiently than we talk. The average person speaks at 150 words per minute, but listens at around 450 words a minute. Listening is therefore three times more efficient than speaking. So, how do we feel this spare capacity during a conversation? We judge, we drift off, and we think about other things.

Hearing is not listening. Hearing is being aware that somebody is communicating with you; listening is actively paying attention to and understanding what that person is communicating.